Media Center [02/02/10]

Take your ass
You ain't got none
You got a whole bunch,
actin like a bitch
*gurgle*
You can't do that
imma do this fast,
I say yo,
that's how you lean...
Fine, be it. *pound* Ha! You ain't seen nothing yet.
Dis is how you do talk, dis is how you do shit, dis is how you do nothing.
Calm down, man. P'haps you a big liar. P'haps you ain't seen nothing, dis is how you see this shit.
Mostly, man. not all, but not a little.
Yeah, his face, man. A fish face, smackin dat face, his hair on his face, man.
Dat Barracuda.
*dis is all, man*
You serious? Eh, really? *gurgle*
See the monster we've created, see his face, in rich browns and ambers, in oranges and deep reds.
[walks away] but I needed you, I needed you to stay.

Lost

This fog is thickening, so try flashing your lights to the sky. I don't know when it's going to lift up, or when the winds will sweep it away. So until then, listen, to its echoes of grey. Listen, and hold my hand; stay.
She cries in the night, so scared, so new; so many things she knows not how to do. if only someone could find a light, she could find her mother, she could find you.
The lies are thickening, so try flashing your lights to the sky. I don't know when you're going to give up, or when they'll sweep you away. So until then, I listen to its echoes of grey; listen, hold your hand; stay.
his hands scratch and peel away at her truths; blinded by what he sees. He'll won't ever know about what she said before; his hearing's faded down, his eyes are blinded by what he feels.
This fog is thickening, so try flashing your lights to the sky. I don't know when it's going to give up, or when the winds will sweep you away. So until then, listen, to its echoes of grey. Listen, and hold my hand; stay.

I Ask (You Listen)

-The banner waves in magesty, as it is carried through the battlefield.
-The hole-flaps are waving to me, giving their farewell.
-Someone gives a cry, a pierce to the temple, a ruckus to the ear.
-The sunlight in the bright blue sky tells no tales to calamity, a fight within a fight, confusion only God could comprehend.
[Yet we live this everyday, a constant struggle to understand who we are and what we're here for. Even though the fabrics of time are more like set in stone, we need hope that we can change it. If no hope, what do we have? Its fiery enemy, Sr. Gen. Logical, Rep., Ret.]
-So, in this chaos, this struggle, this battle, this fight; who wins?
Who wins? Do you even know?
I sure hope you do...
Because I don't.

Angels in Amber (Green Innocence)

-1 If you look out to the Orchards,
Fields of orange and reds, browns and yellows,
You will see purity, wicked lovely,
innocence and cinnamon dreams.
-5 The apples would be ready to pick,
loaded up in the wagon to be shipped,
inspected, savored, and eaten,
all over the world for all to enjoy.-9
If you looked out yesterday, though,
you would have seen green leaves falling,
the air too cold to keep them alive,
and the apples would be ripe, still,
-13 Crisp, as if they do not see the splendor around them wilting;
It's all about them,
even in the cold, even on the cloudy days,
even in October.
-17 If you look out today,
You'd see no orange, no red,
you wouldn't even see green!
All you would see is white, pure white,
-21 the true innocence that winter would bestow;
It would be cold, barren,
even the apples, red and crisp, would feel solitary;
And it's only October.
-25 Just days ago, it was warm, sunny,
life was vibrant and sweet;
it even rained.
We all stood out in the fields near my house and just stood there,
-29 looking up to the sky as the tears washed us away,
all our woes, our worries, our faults, our sins,
were cleansed from us with the rain,
and hope was such a good feeling to have then.
-33 But now, it's snowing;
the same clouds now cluster the ground with white blessings,
blindingour eyes from the grey and blue around us,
the streetlights in amber peering through.
-37 clumping to our lashes, their last hope,
only to be melted by our rosy cheeks,
and there goes another sin.
Don't you taste it, too?
-41 Don’t you remember when we stood outside,
arms open wide to embrace the cloud's tears,
taking our fears with it when it dried as we were cleansed?
It all tasted like green, earthy, and wonderful.
-45 What do we have now?
We have our snow, the same tears, now frozen,
falling and covering the earth,
So we may not see what green life was like before reds and oranges,
-49 before yellows and browns,
And all there is now is white innocence,
truly the most sinful thing on this earth,
and sin never looked so lovely. -52 -NN

(working on book)

-a She smiled from the table across from me, and I almost just gaffawed. She's looking at ME? He bowed graciously from the side of the table, mouthing, "I'm not worthy." When he looked back up, she was giving him a black stare. Her perfectly lined eyes were eminating their thick mascara hatred right at him. He could almost feel the room heat up. But then her purple eyes fell back down to the paper and followed her hand as it jotted down her unspoken conversation. Many people's handwritting, especially teenagers, were especially sloppy, usually chicken scratches. But her hand writing was like caligraphy, true art. She turned the paper to the right a bit as she wrote, laying a hand down to keep it from moving. Even if it was just a note, he could tell she was a very languid person, using a very smart vocabulary like Irk, or perogative. Smart words like that.

8 to 10 (So I forgot)

"Life is like a tightrope; as long as you have a secure rope, no stick could ever give you more balance." -NN
-a But as the air around her as she walks this tightrope is missled by the stix, bruizing her arms,
enclosing her in a forest of brown and hitting the ground like a manical drumbeat...
pillows of white float in their leave, cotton snowing down like feathers, healing her purples and blues, and only when the stix stop falling could she gasp for a breath of air;
toxic, poisonous... and lovely.
-b Cotton snowing from the clouds,
whites and blacks as the grey sunset with all its radiance pierces the screen,
The inscents of sickly sweet, like candy, as they pass by 4th avenue.
Now, if only she could find her blanket; The grass is cold and damp,
And no one is here to keep the rain from drenching her in those black tears of theirs.
-c So should i walk away, knowing nothing can be done?
The fire is burning, spitting ashes out at me, hoping to catch on to my cloak;
all I hears is the crackling of embers as the sky bleeds black tears,
the moon, only absense to the shadows, the only light spare the fire and the stars falling to mourn, as if they know why she cries.
-d And so as she sinks down to the shade, and he is there to catch her,
she feels that she will be alright, that the night's stars can save her once again;
but knowing isn't everything, she knows that, she sees it under her,
and so as her tightrope under her breaks and snaps, twigs not being strong enough,
a mattress of pillows clump under her form, so her purples and blues can be no more.
-e She falls into the pillows, being enclosed in the sweet smell,
the soft and warm embrace she missed after all this time, missed so truly;
turning into the warmth, she smiles, the feeling alien to her,
for too long has she missed out, for too long she has been away,
but now is here to stay. -e5 -NN

The Shadows of Silence (May Silence Be Forgotten)

-1 Do you ever feel alone?
As if no one in this world or the next is watching you?
Are you ever, truly, alone?
How does it feel to know that you're safe from another's eyes?
-5 I've never felt alone, I cant,
He won't let me.
Wherever I go, he follows, stalking from a distant corner,
or even right on my heels, but he's there.
-9 I almost escaped one time,
It was my choice, My time to really have a choice,
I could have told him to evade, to fade away,
to get lost, to leave me be.
-13 Oh, god, why am I so nice?
I couldn't tell someone to get lost,
They'd never find themselves after,
Melody's raft would just be white noise.
-17 So now this being follows me, stalks me,
He's almost like a shadow,
And I used to have a light to shine so that he'd go away,
But it blinded me from reality, burned the wit from my mind.
-21 In a dark hall, I feel I'm not alone,
I know I 'm not alone,
I'm with people I know, just lounging about,
wasting days with drawn out sighs and hysterical laughter.
-25 That's when someone next to me plays a tune,
Just sings it out without a care,
It's hypnotic, being sung out loud, everyone else not caring.
but it's sending its voice out to me with its lyrics.
-29 The melody rings in my ear,
as the whispers following are his -warm, welcoming-
Arms wrapping around me as my body hums to the tune,
Swaying with the melody's lure.
-33 But it just stops, everything,
So fast, so sudden, like a snap,
The arms just simply disapear, the music cuts off,
And the warm hums turn to cold goosebumps.
-37 The once friendly faces now turn harsh,
The light flicker off and on, like a strobe,
The faces start to evaporate, one by one,
and his voice fades out to a hushed breeze.
-41 That's when the shadow creeps over,
Just a dark faded fog, inching closer,
The bumps grow more, welcoming him over,
Though I pray they don't.
-45 The dark curls of shadow creep up,
and almost as if planned, my bumps are ridden,
in seconds, the skin is like porcelain,
smooth, delicate, and cold.
-49 ANd its shadows curled around the porcelain,
caressing, smoothly, in the embrace it prays to take,
As the porcelain warms at its touch,
loosening its shallow cold, only to lose again.
-53 As the shadow consumes the fragile skin,
I hear the tune once again, its warmth muffled by the fade,
So all I hear is a beat, almost technologic,
A bass, a beat, and notes.
-57 It somehow reminds me that I still have that choice,
I can escape this monster and return to that warmth,
The music, the hums of color, the life,
Or I can fade into the shadows once again.
-61 Once before, darkness crept inside me,
Once before, I was blinded, burned by the light,
Now I choose the curling shadows at my side,
or may the melody be sung? -64 -NN

The Glass is Empty(it's not full yet)

-1 I hear grey, just grey,
consuming, devouring, defeated,
the wind whipping my hair, howling at my ears;
-4 I miss the gentle lullabies whispered in my mind,
the warmth of arms around me,
the color, the light, the life...
-7 now I have cold grey, harsh winds, and no light...
where is my light?
Where is my voice? Echo?
-10 This world is muted,
full of fake smiles and silent laughs,
making me want to cry out,
-13 but no voice is heard among the din of whispered winds,
the cold grey, consuming still,
as my heart weakens and my patience runs thin...
-16 I am alone in my world,
with only the wind to keep me going,
and still I hear the whispered name,
-19 as the currents of the water, being dark,
pull me in to the depths of the puddle;
The shore line is fading, the sun is setting,
-22 the wind is dying, and I hear it still;
almost as if it has a breath, a smell, warm arms...
Where is the love? The warmth? Where is the sun? -24 –NN

Forgive Fear (May She Love Again)

-1 To stay or to go,
to live or to die,
the fool's Heart or the Wise Man's eye?
-4 To live is to love,
which is, as we all know, to cherish,
but in the end, do we not cherish life but perish?
-7 So, that's when we go, we leave,
we exit the back door,
But is that what we end up living for?
-10 Do we waste in the sand,
throw the hourglass on the floor,
or are our lives meant for something more?
-13 Maybe we have a purpose,
a reason for us being,
for feeling, for thinking, for hearing and seeing.
-16 And what if there is a calling,
will we hear it in time?
Or is the purpose not worth knowing, grand, or sublime?
-19 Like the summer, life is carefree,
it's the leaving that can harm,
so forgiving the Wise Man is life's true charm.
-22 So, dare me, I swear to thee
you won't regret the choice,
to listen to the fool's heart, and hear his voice. -24 -NN

To Love You, Still

-1 I don't know where to start,
It's like a dream, you know?
It comes and, oh, so amazing,
and then, so suddenly dies, like lightning.
-5 It was winter, WINTER!
Things are supposed to fucking die,
life needed to be dormant,
not start up, thrive, flourish.
-9 And how could it flourish?
It was cold, barren, demeaning,
and yet, life found heat, from some furnace,
and made it on to spring.
-13 Now, it's summer.
So, what, did it wilt?
Since heat can be found anywhere,
did it just simply shut down?
-17 No, no, that couldn't be it,
Maybe it just died.
I really hope not,
That would have happened in the winter.
-21 Thinking back on winter,
I remember, up in a purple-pink dream,
bolts of lightning flickering in the corner,
being both warm and cool.
-25 And I remember the amber from the window,
shining reality down from the streetlight,
now, thinking back on then,
the light was also warm and cool.
-29 The color, bringing comfort,
warming up the soul,
the lighting, outside, florescent, unwelcome,
yet, drunk in by sheer willingness.
-33 The furnace kicking, vertically above me,
cling, clang, against my beating heart,
beating against it, beating against him,
as he fills my heart with warmth.
-37 In more ways than one,
it was my all,
to feel, to see, to think, to hear,
It even smelled perfect.
-41 to be Then, at that moment, at that time,
when it all made sense,
everything from warm dreams to cool reality,
a perfect mixture of emotions.
-45 Now, it being summer,
warm air pressing me on, cool winds to blow pedals off the trees,
gracefully brushing against my skin,
as they float on in the world;
-49 I think back on that winter night,
that winter being the most alive,
and I realized that it wasn't the furnace that I loved,
but the heat it provided.
-53 The Blue aura in the Purple-Pink setting,
known only as DREAM,
the yellow, amber light from the cool reality,
waking me from this dream.
-57 I jolt in my bed, the AC now kicking,
Cling, Clang, against the clock's Tick Tock,
I look at the sun in the window,
which, in amber, rises from the Summer's Field Dew.
-61 a single tear lays on my cheek,
wet on my face, though my eyes are dry,
realization that all dreams must come to an end,
even when it shine down on me. -64 NN

Under Construction

(This is not a poem. I repeat, NOT A POEM)

I'm sorry. But, this is mandatory. I am sending in some of thses poems, and Until I do, I'm taking a few poems off. That way, I'm safe from Poetry Stealers (like the bad side of EAP)... not EPA, Ele.

Anyway, Yeah, so, please stand by as I Send in some of my poems to Editors. (eek! I'm excited! ... yeah, I just eeked. I'd rather "eep" but, that seems kinda wierd... eep! editors! ... lol!)

Thank you for your patience.

Free Me Willy

Dedicated: To my Dear, my Wind, my forever Yellow
To you, YellowCoat. -NN
-1 Towers, do they melt the heart,
or do they turn it to stone?
I believe they're beautiful,
even though I'm trapped behind them.
-5 I feel safe, though, confident,
I wished never to give thse up,
to lose their comfort, their protection,
the safety they place inside me.
-9 My rock, my asylum,
My my sanctuary, my peace,
my creme', my yan,
the cheese in my cake... wait, what?
-13 well, however you put it,
I find them beautiful,
strong, but peaceful,
safe but gently.
-17 I remember them beng warm, comforting,
as I slipped inside,
to forever lose sight of what was outside,
to be locked inside of close encounters.
-21 When the guards outside shut the door,
I found my last image of the world beautiful,
Swirling shades of blue and yellow,
in a tango of nature.
-25 after that, it was dark,
so heavily dark,
I couldn't make out anything farther than an outstretched hand,
so close, so far.
-29 and It felt amazing,
the dark was so thick,
it wrapped around me,
so heavy, it even tasted sweet, like chocolate.
-33 I could swear it wrapped around me,
as if in a hug, maybe an embrace,
for darkness is so very lonely,
so often forgetten, left out.
-37 I mean, It's there when we sleep,
but we're sleeping, we're unconcious,
we don't care if darkness wants to chat, say hi,
even when it begs us to listen.
-41 That night, as I walked up to my room,

And I wrapped up in a blanket to sleep in,

I listened to the dark,

And what it had to say.

-45 So many tales, so many stories,

Triumphs, failures, victories, miseries,

I trailed off into my dreams as it continued on,

And I would have stayed asleep.

-49 I had remembered, though,

The guards had told me there’d be no blankets for bed.

I jolted forward,

Waking from my slumber.

-53 There was a thin blanket around me,

It was quite clear,

But, what was it?

Had the guards lied?

-57 Sure enough, when I tried to feel it,

It evaporated into the thin air,

And, somehow, I stayed warm,

And, again, I felt dark’s embrace.

-61 Am… am I mad?

Have I gone insane?

I feel darkness wrap around me,

As I lay in a bed,

-65 Locked away behind the walls of a tower,

towering over me, all around me.

Maybe it was the look,

The darkness’, of course.

-69 I mean, he had eyes,

Yes, darkness is a he,

Um, I call him Willy,

Because I can’t will him to be here, he just is.

-73 I remember… Blue, yes,

They were blue eyes,

Swirling amazing, yes,

They were amazing.

-77 Whenever I went to bed,

Willy was there,

With a story, with comfort,

Even a blanket of warmth.

-81 I would always drift off to sleep then,

As he told these tales of his,

From his youth,

From his childhood.

-85 In the towers, there was a breeze,

A faint one, but there no doubt,

And sometimes, when darkness was dormant,

I would listen to its voice.

-89 The wind’s voice is so much sweeter than dark’s,

Like rose sugar or wine,

While the dark was more like chocolate,

Heavy, but still tasty.

-93 It weaved through the towers,

Slinking through every knick and knack,

Every corner, every crack,

Luring me to follow.

-97 Sometimes, I did, just for the fun.

I’m so sorry willy,

I let my curiosity come over me,

Take me, consume me, like you’d once done.

-101 I followed the Wind’s pull,

As it luired me to the walls,

Where the cold stones brushed up against my skin,

Alien, unwanted, harsh.

-105 It was weird, but, light, it was coming back,

Sight…? I could see!

It was so dork, I was only moving with the floor,

Mapping my surroundings.

-109 But, now I could see,

It was strange, but wind lured me to light,

Heavenly, pure, loving light,

Forgiving, innocent, caring light!

-113 Light? Yes, it was there,

The darkness was fading away.

Willy was fading,

My mind, right then, started to blur.

-117 His once blue eyes now turned to paleness,

Misty and dead.

His warmth, soothing and eerie,

Was now burning and unforgiving.

-121 My head felt heavier now,

Pressing down on my neck,

The hot biting at me now,

Nibbling bits out of me.

-125 I had held in this gasp for a long time,

But I let it out then,

And I guess Wind had heard me,

For he blew out Willy’s invisible candle.

-129 I was burning no more,

His eyes had blinked its last,

His hot breath no longer on my neck,

I head, no longer, his voice.

-133 I saw the window out ahead,

Where Wind had lured me,

Had I seen it sooner,

I would’ve come home.

-137 But, nonetheless, here I was,

At a window, far away from the dark,

Light, filling me up,

Helping me out of a hole of no escape.

-141 So, I asked wind, “How do I jump?

How do I jump out of a hole in which you can’t escape?”

He answered with a whisper,

“Don’t jump in.”

-145 He faded, lingering by my side,

Winding between my fingers,

And, as I had felt dark’s embrace,

I felt his, wind’s, light’s.

-149 So, here I am,

Sitting right beside you,

The doctor said I could go home tomorrow,

And I’ll be all better.

-153 I guess I saw the window all along,

I just never cared to go.

Until the day I did,

I’d blocked it out with Willy.

-157 I guess you can say I’m over him,

I believe it’s true.

I mean, it’ll still hurt for a while,

But, lesson learned, I feel nothing for him.

-161 Now, I cherish something else,

Life before the towers,

Swirling shades of Blue,

Eyes that have been there all along.

-165 Yellow, beautiful yellow,

Such a strong color, for happiness,

And as long as he’s here with me,

Yellow will suit me just fine. -168

I miss you

-1 'A mirror crashes against a wall',

... no, no, no. That's too sudden,

It's not just a mirror,

it's a shattered mirror,

-5 ... well, at least it is now.

Ok, let me see...

"The mirror, fragile, delicate,

casted on the wall,

-9 Shattered, sprinkled on the ground,

like millions of ghosts,

reflecting her ghostly image back..."

wait, wait, wait!

-13 Who is this girl,

where is she from,

well, I guess it's not important where she's from,

but, who is she?

-17 And, besides,

who shattered the mirror?

maybe she did,

out of outrage to a loved one,

-21 or maybe she's scared,

... no, she's scared,

she's afraid for something.

hmm...

-25 "Reflecting her ghostly image back,

the swarm of goosebumps on her arms,

her eyes, a newborn lamb's,

her skin, frozen in her glass frame,

-29 porcelean, perfect, a true Jewel..."

Ok, now what's wrong with her?

She should be broken,

Hey, aren't we all?

-33 Maybe she needs a home,

... Then, where the hell is she now?

And, if she is in a home,

not excluding that she's not,

-37... well, let's say it's a physical "home",

a house, you know, a bed, a roof, walls, a door,

but, does she have a calling,

a family... friends?

-41 "Porcelean, perfect, a true Jeewel,

a diamond in the rough,

... That's just what she is,

a rough, imprisoned in some hell,

-45 pained, hurt, imprisoned,

without surrender, she says to herself,

she tried with all her might to withstand,

to endure, to fight back,

-49 But it was too much,

to fit in, to suceed acidemically, to rise above,

to be better, to be the 'one',

as if there was nothing else she could be..."

-53 But, then, what the fuck?

What is she to do now that she's shattered?

What's her calling,

does she have one?

-57 ... maybe she has none,

maybe this could just be a sad story,

like Sweeney Todd,

... what was the moral of that story, anyway?

-61 Maybe there was none,

Maybe Sweeney was just cracked,

like, Jekell and Hyde,

God, that could be it!

-65 "As if there was nothing else she could be,

for, she knew, if life is worth it all,

all the praise it gets,

all the hype thrown at it,

-69 what must be so bad about death,

about destroying the one thing she longed for,

her whole life's only want,

... you see she'd only been surviving,

-73 making little by little,

inching by, while everyone else had thrived,

They had lived,

They had more than just necessity,

-77 they had pleasure, they had liesure,

they could afford to make mistakes,

a luxury she didn't have.

So, there she stood, in front of the mirror,

-81 a million faces in the floor, staring back at her,

scared, lonelly, desperate, and praying for life."

... this is too much,

I dunno, it's wierd, I guess,

-85 So, what do you think?

... mhmm... I see your point,

well, you're right, it's too much anyway,

I'll just go to bed... -88

I miss you

-1 'A mirror crashes against a wall',

... no, no, no. That's too sudden,

It's not just a mirror,

it's a shattered mirror,

-5 ... well, at least it is now.

Ok, let me see...

"The mirror, fragile, delicate,

casted on the wall,

-9 Shattered, sprinkled on the ground,

like millions of ghosts,

reflecting her ghostly image back..."

wait, wait, wait!

-13 Who is this girl,

where is she from,

well, I guess it's not important where she's from,

but, who is she?

-17 And, besides,

who shattered the mirror?

maybe she did,

out of outrage to a loved one,

-21 or maybe she's scared,

... no, she's scared,

she's afraid for something.

hmm...

-25 "Reflecting her ghostly image back,

the swarm of goosebumps on her arms,

her eyes, a newborn lamb's,

her skin, frozen in her glass frame,

-29 porcelean, perfect, a true Jewel..."

Ok, now what's wrong with her?

She should be broken,

Hey, aren't we all?

-33 Maybe she needs a home,

... Then, where the hell is she now?

And, if she is in a home,

not excluding that she's not,

-37... well, let's say it's a physical "home",

a house, you know, a bed, a roof, walls, a door,

but, does she have a calling,

a family... friends?

-41 "Porcelean, perfect, a true Jeewel,

a diamond in the rough,

... That's just what she is,

a rough, imprisoned in some hell,

-45 pained, hurt, imprisoned,

without surrender, she says to herself,

she tried with all her might to withstand,

to endure, to fight back,

-49 But it was too much,

to fit in, to suceed acidemically, to rise above,

to be better, to be the 'one',

as if there was nothing else she could be..."

-53 But, then, what the fuck?

What is she to do now that she's shattered?

What's her calling,

does she have one?

-57 ... maybe she has none,

maybe this could just be a sad story,

like Sweeney Todd,

... what was the moral of that story, anyway?

-61 Maybe there was none,

Maybe Sweeney was just cracked,

like, Jekell and Hyde,

God, that could be it!

-65 "As if there was nothing else she could be,

for, she knew, if life is worth it all,

all the praise it gets,

all the hype thrown at it,

-69 what must be so bad about death,

about destroying the one thing she longed for,

her whole life's only want,

... you see she'd only been surviving,

-73 making little by little,

inching by, while everyone else had thrived,

They had lived,

They had more than just necessity,

-77 they had pleasure, they had liesure,

they could afford to make mistakes,

a luxury she didn't have.

So, there she stood, in front of the mirror,

-81 a million faces in the floor, staring back at her,

scared, lonelly, desperate, and praying for life."

... this is too much,

I dunno, it's wierd, I guess,

-85 So, what do you think?

... mhmm... I see your point,

well, you're right, it's too much anyway,

I'll just go to bed... -88

I Won't Try Anymore!

-1 I can't sleep right anymore,
I can't speak with courage,
I can't truly laugh,
I can't cry with a heart.
-5 I can't blink without a tear,
I can't open my eyes without leaving the darkness,
I can't even begin to explain where this is all coming from,
I can't sing with... I just can't sing,
-9 I can't shout out how I feel,
I can't hate him,
I can't love myself...
I can't live to my fullest,
-13 I can't die and waste away...
I can't force myself to live... I just do,
For if there's one thing I can't do,
it would be to give up.-16

(untitled) due to respect, it shan't be named... I dunno... sheesh, lol

did you forget the words engraved on my skin,
stilled in my head,
printed on my mind, (In the beginning, there was darkness.)
I shan't.
I know them truly by heart,
as if in a trance they could be lyriced with no error,
no studder, not even a hiccup of doubt,
for I know those words too well.
They were there the first night,
the first morning,
the night after that,
and every morning onto that.
They were there when I first opened my eyes,
stared at the ceiling,
reborn, shed, taken away from,
when innocence was no play.
They were there,
and only they were there,
since the absense of touch had taken over.
I was numb,
mute, deaf,
All I could see was dark,
all I could hear was shadows,
All I could speak were whispers.
I whispered once,
and only once,
the words of life, truth, and meaning. (I love you)
If only I could hear,
if only I had heard the whispered back,
I'd seen the light coming in,
if only I could see the angels beckoning for me to come back.
If only I had heard you, come in,
and leave without a trace.
God, hear me,
Soldiers, lower your guns,
People, let me go,
Mortals, set me free!
It was nothing more than pure instinct,
nothing more than a mere incident,
nothing more... nothing less,
if only life was that simple.
If only you, lord, could come back,
take me from this prison,
lead me to the light again,
show me where this tunnel ends,
where angels come down,
sweeping me out of the guck,
and carrying me into the heavens.
As if it is all an incident that can be forgiven,
as if it is all forgetable,
as if It is all because of this,
it is all because of me.

Similes...

i know, it'll be sucky... it's all I can do right now, in the computer lab... when i'd rather be doing something else with my time... but, oh well.

Let me think of the day...
Yes, let me think...
It was yesterday...
I know, it was just a day ago...
but, it was a wonderful day...
It was purely magic...
I must say it was the best day I'd ever eaten...

The Wolf’s last Breath (the Broken Door)

-1 The properties of life go as follows…

To live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-5 Cherishing you,

Cherishing you…

For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-9 Those who cherish life?

And to live is to breathe,

Which is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-13 Cherishing you.

And since to live is to breathe,

Shall we not take a breathe,

To sigh out days wasted?

-17For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

Those that cherished life,

Since to live is to breathe,

-21To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

Cherishing you.

And thus we move on to Love,

-25Which is supported by breath,

For humans cannot deny beauty,

Nor can they live without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-29Shall we not take a breath

And sigh out days wasted?

For who cannot deny those,

Pitiful and brief,

-33 Who cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-37Cherishing you…

Cherishing you.

Listen to birds as they fly by,

Do they sing to the heart,

-41 Or just to each other?

Then again, do we live for love,

Or do we love to coexist?

And thus we move on to Love,

-45 Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-49 Shall we not take a breath,

To sigh out days wasted?

For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-53 Those who cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-57 Cherishing you,

Cherishing you.

I cherish you since no one can,

You are a broken, a wolf howling for the moon,

-61 You breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with no one but a shadowed light,

So, instead of howling to the moon,

Listen to birds as they fly by,

-65 Notice, do they sing to your misery,

Or just to each other?

Then gain, do we live for the essence of life,

Or do we love so that we can coexist?

-69 so thus we move on to love,

Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

-73 And since to live is to breathe,

Shall we not take in a breath,

To sigh out our grieved days of waste,

For who cannot deny those,

-77 Pitiful and brief,

That cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

-81 Which is to cherish,

Cherishing you,

Cherishing you.

We are all broken,

-85 Hiding in the shadows,

Pretending to ourselves that we are something more,

Just to prove to ourselves that we can be something beautiful.

That’s why I cherish you, since no one else can,

-89 You breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with none other than a shadowed light.

So, instead, listen to the birds as they fly by,

Do they sing to your aching heart,

-93 Or just to each other?

Then again, do we live for an essence of love,

Or do we love for the essence of Coexistence?

And thus we move on to love,

-97Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath,

And since to live is to breathe,

-101Shall us broken take in a breath,

And sigh out wasted days of grief?

For who cannot deny those,

Pitiful and brief,

-105who cherish life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love, which is to cherish,

Cherishing you,

-109 Cherishing you.

If we are broken souls,

Let’s hope we can be fixed,

So, hold you breath for a moment,

-113 And let love indulge inside.

Or will we all remain broken,

Hiding in the shadows,

-117 Pretending to ourselves that we can be something more,

Just to prove to ourselves that we can be something beautiful?

Or must I cherish you since no one else will,

Since you are broken, a wolf howling for the moon,

-121 Since you breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with none other but a shadowed light?

This is why I beg, listen to yourself when howling for the mirror,

Will it sing back of Content,

-125 Or will it just sing to its own Misery?

Then again, do we live for love, fake and remorseless,

Or do we love so that we can coexist?

And thus, my friend, we move on to beauty,

-129 Which is supported by breathing,

For mortals cannot deny beauty,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-133 Us broken must take in a breath,

Where some will sigh out days of Grief,

Cowardly and sheepish. For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-135 Those who cherish life?

Me, I tell you,

I beg all of you to see.

Open your eyes and take a look around,

-139 There’s more to life than a dark shadow, a crowded bus full of lost dreams,

The beauty and life is just outside the open door,

It’s all just a breathe away,

Well… then again, maybe a moment too late.

-143 For to live is to breathe,

And to breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

And until the day that my door has opened,

-147 I shall be cherishing you,

Oh gasp,

Cherishing you. -149

(I was told this could be a song... tell me what you think. I believe that if I get the right connections, fix it up a little, edit a few tweaks, it could work!)

Dark (will the flames endulge?)

-1 It feels, sees, touches,
creeping into the cold,
where her hearth burns,
senseless and deep.
-5 It crawls in,
seeking warmth, seeking life,
from the bowels of where it came,
from the pit of the black.
-9 As it wraps around,
it seems to surround,
endulge on what it's inside,
on what it has taken,
-13 So from that day on,
whomever it takes,
will not forget soon,
they will never forget.
-17 So, there she is,
just a mere existence,
wandering in the black,
but still, so still,
-21 just waiting for that,
for what will take her in,
whatever it may be,
whomever it may be.
-25 She lays there,
as he lays next to her,
His arms like towers,
towering over her.
-29 His being like the dark,
Cold, warm, full of sense,
in loss of what he will take,
in love with what will come. -32

What We Have Done

-1 I used to be one of them,
Oh, how I miss those days,
when I would walk on home after dark,
heading from some friend's house,
just Jaywalking,
my cell phone lost, or even broken,
but I never cared.
-8 I would always break the rules,
I would follow my own instead,
as if I had any then.
Wasn't that what she said?
I remember as she headed down the stairs,
over at her apartment by the drugstore.
She, bless her soul, was my sanctuary,
-15 she was my second home, my life,
sometimes my only home when I ran away.
She always wore skirts higher than her dad,
as he sat on the couch, watching TV,
she wore push-up bras and fish nets,
looking all like a bad influence,
someone to steer your children away from.
-22 You ask me here and now,
sitting on the floor or on a couch,
why would you interract with such a beast,
a horror, if you will to say,
who could be that horrid,
that broken, that fucked up,
and still care to talk to the likes of me?
-29 Quite frankly, to be honest,
I still don't know why,
The first day I spoke to her was a blur,
Our first sleepover was nothing usual,
Piercings usually covered all of her skin,
along with cut marks and tatoos,
while mine remained unscathed and pale.
-36 We would hang out with odd beings,
wild and untamed, Blaks, Reads, and Purpuls,
sometimes a Wight would come by.
In the alleys, they would roam, rant,
Cavork with mail, tipping over trashcans,
laughing as they did,
Me blushing, laughing along, from far behind.
-43 Maybe it was rebellion,
maybe it was a need to clash,
to stand out in a Mixing pot,
to not become a steriotypical hypocrite.
Maybe it was just for fun, though,
Or to watch someone have fun,
as the other shadows would quite often.
-50 All I knew was that She was my best friend,
she was there for me when no one else was,
she stood up to the Bitches at school,
the boys in the bathrooms,
She stood up to the Populars,
she stood up to the teachers,
and their academic expectations, too.
-57 I felt welcome, accepted, wanted!
I felt like someone cared about me,
As if anyone else really cared,
where I was, who I hung out with,
what I felt, what I heard,
No one was there, no one lended a hand,
All but one girl, who kept me balanced.
-64 The zen I needed,
The Yin in my Yan, The shadow in the light,
There, right in front of me,
as she walked down the down the stairs oh so long ago,
in Fish nets, shorts, and a tube top,
Piercings dangling from her ears,
her nails a hot pink.
-71 In that moment, she looked flawless,
perfect, Wonderful, even beautiful,
with a smile wide across her face,
her thin red hair parted along the tip,
in two small ponytails barely leaving the scalp,
Barely looking like a shadow, nonetheless a Purpul,
But hiding nothing from her true friend.
-78 She came up to me,
grabbed me by the forearms,
losing all playfulness she might have had,
as she asked me something that still shocks me,
" Why do you hang out with me,
after all that me and my friends do wen we hang out,
why don't you mock us and cast us out to the dogs?"
-85 I had one answer and one only,
there was no other answer to this question,
It was purely simple, So easily confused,
sometimes over thought, sometimes shrugged off,
But, this time it wouldn't,
this time it would be straight forward,
For the question of life is never shrugged off.
-92 "I have Three rules that I follow in life," I said,
"One, Obesrve yourself and others around you,
for who you hang around with make up your life.
Two, Base your rules on those observations,
like not hanging around with bad influences.
And, Three, break all of them,
so no one can make you what you don't want to be."
-99 Jaywalking nowadays isn't hard,
even though she had moved away years ago,
It turns out that the rules I had set up were good ones,
it's just the ones I broke that broke me.
Days after hanging out with new friends,
I had a new set of rules.
-106 I believe after that day,
when we stood in her apartment,
waiting for an excuse to leave,
I had changed her somehow.
She was more reluctant to go Rebel,
she sold her pot, her booze,
She even sold her earrings.
-113 She started hanging out with my kind,
the blind, the ignorant, the stuck up,
Those were my friends then,
As if they were the Yan to her yin,
the light amongst the shadows,
which is what she seemed less of,
a shadow, a purpul, a blak read.
-120 It was like she needed me more than I needed her,
for she would have left if She didn't,
After all of the other sleepovers,
after all of the lame, the Crippled,
the Mockingbirds, had taken their feast,
she relied on me as I had her before,
and it seemed strange,
-127 Especially from her.
I had evaded from the dark,
I had took on light,
She had turned into a Bright one herself,
Usually Bright don't leave to the dark alone,
or tread into another's path.
I could tell she was different, though,
-134 She had changed herself due to me,
She could hang out with me without doing drugs,
she could speak without swear,
She could skip the Tattoo store for a day,
and Just hang out,
which felt wrong for a moment,
for she was almost always in the dark.
-141 I bet you're wondering,
why the hell is she talking about this?
Why is she saying she changed someone,
when they can change only when they want to?
Well, maybe she wanted to change, yes?
Maybe that's why she hung out with me?
Or will we be steriotypicals, causing stress,
-148 When someone in this world,
let it be alone a Wight, A Purpul,
A Blak, a Read, or even a shadow with a light,
would want change in this world,
where we wander in the dark,
Blinded by our stupidity, or lameness,
as I clearly walk in the path of the pavement of light? -154

... God this monologue sucks! lol!
F, here I come.