I Won't Try Anymore!

-1 I can't sleep right anymore,
I can't speak with courage,
I can't truly laugh,
I can't cry with a heart.
-5 I can't blink without a tear,
I can't open my eyes without leaving the darkness,
I can't even begin to explain where this is all coming from,
I can't sing with... I just can't sing,
-9 I can't shout out how I feel,
I can't hate him,
I can't love myself...
I can't live to my fullest,
-13 I can't die and waste away...
I can't force myself to live... I just do,
For if there's one thing I can't do,
it would be to give up.-16

(untitled) due to respect, it shan't be named... I dunno... sheesh, lol

did you forget the words engraved on my skin,
stilled in my head,
printed on my mind, (In the beginning, there was darkness.)
I shan't.
I know them truly by heart,
as if in a trance they could be lyriced with no error,
no studder, not even a hiccup of doubt,
for I know those words too well.
They were there the first night,
the first morning,
the night after that,
and every morning onto that.
They were there when I first opened my eyes,
stared at the ceiling,
reborn, shed, taken away from,
when innocence was no play.
They were there,
and only they were there,
since the absense of touch had taken over.
I was numb,
mute, deaf,
All I could see was dark,
all I could hear was shadows,
All I could speak were whispers.
I whispered once,
and only once,
the words of life, truth, and meaning. (I love you)
If only I could hear,
if only I had heard the whispered back,
I'd seen the light coming in,
if only I could see the angels beckoning for me to come back.
If only I had heard you, come in,
and leave without a trace.
God, hear me,
Soldiers, lower your guns,
People, let me go,
Mortals, set me free!
It was nothing more than pure instinct,
nothing more than a mere incident,
nothing more... nothing less,
if only life was that simple.
If only you, lord, could come back,
take me from this prison,
lead me to the light again,
show me where this tunnel ends,
where angels come down,
sweeping me out of the guck,
and carrying me into the heavens.
As if it is all an incident that can be forgiven,
as if it is all forgetable,
as if It is all because of this,
it is all because of me.

Similes...

i know, it'll be sucky... it's all I can do right now, in the computer lab... when i'd rather be doing something else with my time... but, oh well.

Let me think of the day...
Yes, let me think...
It was yesterday...
I know, it was just a day ago...
but, it was a wonderful day...
It was purely magic...
I must say it was the best day I'd ever eaten...

The Wolf’s last Breath (the Broken Door)

-1 The properties of life go as follows…

To live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-5 Cherishing you,

Cherishing you…

For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-9 Those who cherish life?

And to live is to breathe,

Which is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-13 Cherishing you.

And since to live is to breathe,

Shall we not take a breathe,

To sigh out days wasted?

-17For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

Those that cherished life,

Since to live is to breathe,

-21To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

Cherishing you.

And thus we move on to Love,

-25Which is supported by breath,

For humans cannot deny beauty,

Nor can they live without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-29Shall we not take a breath

And sigh out days wasted?

For who cannot deny those,

Pitiful and brief,

-33 Who cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-37Cherishing you…

Cherishing you.

Listen to birds as they fly by,

Do they sing to the heart,

-41 Or just to each other?

Then again, do we live for love,

Or do we love to coexist?

And thus we move on to Love,

-45 Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-49 Shall we not take a breath,

To sigh out days wasted?

For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-53 Those who cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

-57 Cherishing you,

Cherishing you.

I cherish you since no one can,

You are a broken, a wolf howling for the moon,

-61 You breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with no one but a shadowed light,

So, instead of howling to the moon,

Listen to birds as they fly by,

-65 Notice, do they sing to your misery,

Or just to each other?

Then gain, do we live for the essence of life,

Or do we love so that we can coexist?

-69 so thus we move on to love,

Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

-73 And since to live is to breathe,

Shall we not take in a breath,

To sigh out our grieved days of waste,

For who cannot deny those,

-77 Pitiful and brief,

That cherished life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love,

-81 Which is to cherish,

Cherishing you,

Cherishing you.

We are all broken,

-85 Hiding in the shadows,

Pretending to ourselves that we are something more,

Just to prove to ourselves that we can be something beautiful.

That’s why I cherish you, since no one else can,

-89 You breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with none other than a shadowed light.

So, instead, listen to the birds as they fly by,

Do they sing to your aching heart,

-93 Or just to each other?

Then again, do we live for an essence of love,

Or do we love for the essence of Coexistence?

And thus we move on to love,

-97Which is supported by breathing,

For humans cannot deny love,

Nor can they coexist without breath,

And since to live is to breathe,

-101Shall us broken take in a breath,

And sigh out wasted days of grief?

For who cannot deny those,

Pitiful and brief,

-105who cherish life?

Since to live is to breathe,

To breathe is to love, which is to cherish,

Cherishing you,

-109 Cherishing you.

If we are broken souls,

Let’s hope we can be fixed,

So, hold you breath for a moment,

-113 And let love indulge inside.

Or will we all remain broken,

Hiding in the shadows,

-117 Pretending to ourselves that we can be something more,

Just to prove to ourselves that we can be something beautiful?

Or must I cherish you since no one else will,

Since you are broken, a wolf howling for the moon,

-121 Since you breathe, you cherish, you coexist,

But with none other but a shadowed light?

This is why I beg, listen to yourself when howling for the mirror,

Will it sing back of Content,

-125 Or will it just sing to its own Misery?

Then again, do we live for love, fake and remorseless,

Or do we love so that we can coexist?

And thus, my friend, we move on to beauty,

-129 Which is supported by breathing,

For mortals cannot deny beauty,

Nor can they coexist without breath.

And since to live is to breathe,

-133 Us broken must take in a breath,

Where some will sigh out days of Grief,

Cowardly and sheepish. For who cannot deny,

Pitiful and brief,

-135 Those who cherish life?

Me, I tell you,

I beg all of you to see.

Open your eyes and take a look around,

-139 There’s more to life than a dark shadow, a crowded bus full of lost dreams,

The beauty and life is just outside the open door,

It’s all just a breathe away,

Well… then again, maybe a moment too late.

-143 For to live is to breathe,

And to breathe is to love,

Which is to cherish,

And until the day that my door has opened,

-147 I shall be cherishing you,

Oh gasp,

Cherishing you. -149

(I was told this could be a song... tell me what you think. I believe that if I get the right connections, fix it up a little, edit a few tweaks, it could work!)

Dark (will the flames endulge?)

-1 It feels, sees, touches,
creeping into the cold,
where her hearth burns,
senseless and deep.
-5 It crawls in,
seeking warmth, seeking life,
from the bowels of where it came,
from the pit of the black.
-9 As it wraps around,
it seems to surround,
endulge on what it's inside,
on what it has taken,
-13 So from that day on,
whomever it takes,
will not forget soon,
they will never forget.
-17 So, there she is,
just a mere existence,
wandering in the black,
but still, so still,
-21 just waiting for that,
for what will take her in,
whatever it may be,
whomever it may be.
-25 She lays there,
as he lays next to her,
His arms like towers,
towering over her.
-29 His being like the dark,
Cold, warm, full of sense,
in loss of what he will take,
in love with what will come. -32

What We Have Done

-1 I used to be one of them,
Oh, how I miss those days,
when I would walk on home after dark,
heading from some friend's house,
just Jaywalking,
my cell phone lost, or even broken,
but I never cared.
-8 I would always break the rules,
I would follow my own instead,
as if I had any then.
Wasn't that what she said?
I remember as she headed down the stairs,
over at her apartment by the drugstore.
She, bless her soul, was my sanctuary,
-15 she was my second home, my life,
sometimes my only home when I ran away.
She always wore skirts higher than her dad,
as he sat on the couch, watching TV,
she wore push-up bras and fish nets,
looking all like a bad influence,
someone to steer your children away from.
-22 You ask me here and now,
sitting on the floor or on a couch,
why would you interract with such a beast,
a horror, if you will to say,
who could be that horrid,
that broken, that fucked up,
and still care to talk to the likes of me?
-29 Quite frankly, to be honest,
I still don't know why,
The first day I spoke to her was a blur,
Our first sleepover was nothing usual,
Piercings usually covered all of her skin,
along with cut marks and tatoos,
while mine remained unscathed and pale.
-36 We would hang out with odd beings,
wild and untamed, Blaks, Reads, and Purpuls,
sometimes a Wight would come by.
In the alleys, they would roam, rant,
Cavork with mail, tipping over trashcans,
laughing as they did,
Me blushing, laughing along, from far behind.
-43 Maybe it was rebellion,
maybe it was a need to clash,
to stand out in a Mixing pot,
to not become a steriotypical hypocrite.
Maybe it was just for fun, though,
Or to watch someone have fun,
as the other shadows would quite often.
-50 All I knew was that She was my best friend,
she was there for me when no one else was,
she stood up to the Bitches at school,
the boys in the bathrooms,
She stood up to the Populars,
she stood up to the teachers,
and their academic expectations, too.
-57 I felt welcome, accepted, wanted!
I felt like someone cared about me,
As if anyone else really cared,
where I was, who I hung out with,
what I felt, what I heard,
No one was there, no one lended a hand,
All but one girl, who kept me balanced.
-64 The zen I needed,
The Yin in my Yan, The shadow in the light,
There, right in front of me,
as she walked down the down the stairs oh so long ago,
in Fish nets, shorts, and a tube top,
Piercings dangling from her ears,
her nails a hot pink.
-71 In that moment, she looked flawless,
perfect, Wonderful, even beautiful,
with a smile wide across her face,
her thin red hair parted along the tip,
in two small ponytails barely leaving the scalp,
Barely looking like a shadow, nonetheless a Purpul,
But hiding nothing from her true friend.
-78 She came up to me,
grabbed me by the forearms,
losing all playfulness she might have had,
as she asked me something that still shocks me,
" Why do you hang out with me,
after all that me and my friends do wen we hang out,
why don't you mock us and cast us out to the dogs?"
-85 I had one answer and one only,
there was no other answer to this question,
It was purely simple, So easily confused,
sometimes over thought, sometimes shrugged off,
But, this time it wouldn't,
this time it would be straight forward,
For the question of life is never shrugged off.
-92 "I have Three rules that I follow in life," I said,
"One, Obesrve yourself and others around you,
for who you hang around with make up your life.
Two, Base your rules on those observations,
like not hanging around with bad influences.
And, Three, break all of them,
so no one can make you what you don't want to be."
-99 Jaywalking nowadays isn't hard,
even though she had moved away years ago,
It turns out that the rules I had set up were good ones,
it's just the ones I broke that broke me.
Days after hanging out with new friends,
I had a new set of rules.
-106 I believe after that day,
when we stood in her apartment,
waiting for an excuse to leave,
I had changed her somehow.
She was more reluctant to go Rebel,
she sold her pot, her booze,
She even sold her earrings.
-113 She started hanging out with my kind,
the blind, the ignorant, the stuck up,
Those were my friends then,
As if they were the Yan to her yin,
the light amongst the shadows,
which is what she seemed less of,
a shadow, a purpul, a blak read.
-120 It was like she needed me more than I needed her,
for she would have left if She didn't,
After all of the other sleepovers,
after all of the lame, the Crippled,
the Mockingbirds, had taken their feast,
she relied on me as I had her before,
and it seemed strange,
-127 Especially from her.
I had evaded from the dark,
I had took on light,
She had turned into a Bright one herself,
Usually Bright don't leave to the dark alone,
or tread into another's path.
I could tell she was different, though,
-134 She had changed herself due to me,
She could hang out with me without doing drugs,
she could speak without swear,
She could skip the Tattoo store for a day,
and Just hang out,
which felt wrong for a moment,
for she was almost always in the dark.
-141 I bet you're wondering,
why the hell is she talking about this?
Why is she saying she changed someone,
when they can change only when they want to?
Well, maybe she wanted to change, yes?
Maybe that's why she hung out with me?
Or will we be steriotypicals, causing stress,
-148 When someone in this world,
let it be alone a Wight, A Purpul,
A Blak, a Read, or even a shadow with a light,
would want change in this world,
where we wander in the dark,
Blinded by our stupidity, or lameness,
as I clearly walk in the path of the pavement of light? -154

... God this monologue sucks! lol!
F, here I come.

Virus (how to forget)

-1 I am a virus,
not living, not being,
just wandering about,
waiting for a moment,
-5 praying for a sigh,
Just waiting...
Waiting...
If only I had wings,
-9 if only I could soar,
to be something better,
to be something else.
I'd rather not be a virus,
-13 slurking around,
causing nothing but bother,
ignorance, annoyace,
to be something new.
-17 but, here I am,
just a pest,
a piece of shit in this life,
needing to be squashed,
-21 before I infest,
before I become something,
anything!
Before it's too late to turn back.
-25 Here you are, again,
staring at my form,
disgust, confusion,
uncertainty.
-29 I wait, I wait,
for an opportunity,
for a hope,
a prayer!
-33 and, yet,
look where that has taken me?
I sit here,
in the corner,
-37 longing for a glance,
a notice, a sign of acceptance,
a reality too far for me,
as you walk away.
-41 So simple, it was,
just to walk, to prance,
to be free from anxiety,
to feel giddy and full of joy.
-45 if only I could see that,
if only I could live to tell a happy ending,
maybe even an ending in general,
maybe... just maybe,
-49 maybe not.
I sit here, all alone,
no comfort, no returning favors,
for I am just a virus.
-53 I pass by many opportunities,
good ones, bad ones,
charmatic, miraculous,
some undescribable.
-57 and, yet, I wait,
I wait for someone,
something, ANYTHING,
to accept me for ME.
-61 As I wait,
I will pass by many,
As I pass by this,
As I pass by you. -64