I Ask (You Listen)

-The banner waves in magesty, as it is carried through the battlefield.
-The hole-flaps are waving to me, giving their farewell.
-Someone gives a cry, a pierce to the temple, a ruckus to the ear.
-The sunlight in the bright blue sky tells no tales to calamity, a fight within a fight, confusion only God could comprehend.
[Yet we live this everyday, a constant struggle to understand who we are and what we're here for. Even though the fabrics of time are more like set in stone, we need hope that we can change it. If no hope, what do we have? Its fiery enemy, Sr. Gen. Logical, Rep., Ret.]
-So, in this chaos, this struggle, this battle, this fight; who wins?
Who wins? Do you even know?
I sure hope you do...
Because I don't.

Angels in Amber (Green Innocence)

-1 If you look out to the Orchards,
Fields of orange and reds, browns and yellows,
You will see purity, wicked lovely,
innocence and cinnamon dreams.
-5 The apples would be ready to pick,
loaded up in the wagon to be shipped,
inspected, savored, and eaten,
all over the world for all to enjoy.-9
If you looked out yesterday, though,
you would have seen green leaves falling,
the air too cold to keep them alive,
and the apples would be ripe, still,
-13 Crisp, as if they do not see the splendor around them wilting;
It's all about them,
even in the cold, even on the cloudy days,
even in October.
-17 If you look out today,
You'd see no orange, no red,
you wouldn't even see green!
All you would see is white, pure white,
-21 the true innocence that winter would bestow;
It would be cold, barren,
even the apples, red and crisp, would feel solitary;
And it's only October.
-25 Just days ago, it was warm, sunny,
life was vibrant and sweet;
it even rained.
We all stood out in the fields near my house and just stood there,
-29 looking up to the sky as the tears washed us away,
all our woes, our worries, our faults, our sins,
were cleansed from us with the rain,
and hope was such a good feeling to have then.
-33 But now, it's snowing;
the same clouds now cluster the ground with white blessings,
blindingour eyes from the grey and blue around us,
the streetlights in amber peering through.
-37 clumping to our lashes, their last hope,
only to be melted by our rosy cheeks,
and there goes another sin.
Don't you taste it, too?
-41 Don’t you remember when we stood outside,
arms open wide to embrace the cloud's tears,
taking our fears with it when it dried as we were cleansed?
It all tasted like green, earthy, and wonderful.
-45 What do we have now?
We have our snow, the same tears, now frozen,
falling and covering the earth,
So we may not see what green life was like before reds and oranges,
-49 before yellows and browns,
And all there is now is white innocence,
truly the most sinful thing on this earth,
and sin never looked so lovely. -52 -NN

(working on book)

-a She smiled from the table across from me, and I almost just gaffawed. She's looking at ME? He bowed graciously from the side of the table, mouthing, "I'm not worthy." When he looked back up, she was giving him a black stare. Her perfectly lined eyes were eminating their thick mascara hatred right at him. He could almost feel the room heat up. But then her purple eyes fell back down to the paper and followed her hand as it jotted down her unspoken conversation. Many people's handwritting, especially teenagers, were especially sloppy, usually chicken scratches. But her hand writing was like caligraphy, true art. She turned the paper to the right a bit as she wrote, laying a hand down to keep it from moving. Even if it was just a note, he could tell she was a very languid person, using a very smart vocabulary like Irk, or perogative. Smart words like that.

8 to 10 (So I forgot)

"Life is like a tightrope; as long as you have a secure rope, no stick could ever give you more balance." -NN
-a But as the air around her as she walks this tightrope is missled by the stix, bruizing her arms,
enclosing her in a forest of brown and hitting the ground like a manical drumbeat...
pillows of white float in their leave, cotton snowing down like feathers, healing her purples and blues, and only when the stix stop falling could she gasp for a breath of air;
toxic, poisonous... and lovely.
-b Cotton snowing from the clouds,
whites and blacks as the grey sunset with all its radiance pierces the screen,
The inscents of sickly sweet, like candy, as they pass by 4th avenue.
Now, if only she could find her blanket; The grass is cold and damp,
And no one is here to keep the rain from drenching her in those black tears of theirs.
-c So should i walk away, knowing nothing can be done?
The fire is burning, spitting ashes out at me, hoping to catch on to my cloak;
all I hears is the crackling of embers as the sky bleeds black tears,
the moon, only absense to the shadows, the only light spare the fire and the stars falling to mourn, as if they know why she cries.
-d And so as she sinks down to the shade, and he is there to catch her,
she feels that she will be alright, that the night's stars can save her once again;
but knowing isn't everything, she knows that, she sees it under her,
and so as her tightrope under her breaks and snaps, twigs not being strong enough,
a mattress of pillows clump under her form, so her purples and blues can be no more.
-e She falls into the pillows, being enclosed in the sweet smell,
the soft and warm embrace she missed after all this time, missed so truly;
turning into the warmth, she smiles, the feeling alien to her,
for too long has she missed out, for too long she has been away,
but now is here to stay. -e5 -NN

The Shadows of Silence (May Silence Be Forgotten)

-1 Do you ever feel alone?
As if no one in this world or the next is watching you?
Are you ever, truly, alone?
How does it feel to know that you're safe from another's eyes?
-5 I've never felt alone, I cant,
He won't let me.
Wherever I go, he follows, stalking from a distant corner,
or even right on my heels, but he's there.
-9 I almost escaped one time,
It was my choice, My time to really have a choice,
I could have told him to evade, to fade away,
to get lost, to leave me be.
-13 Oh, god, why am I so nice?
I couldn't tell someone to get lost,
They'd never find themselves after,
Melody's raft would just be white noise.
-17 So now this being follows me, stalks me,
He's almost like a shadow,
And I used to have a light to shine so that he'd go away,
But it blinded me from reality, burned the wit from my mind.
-21 In a dark hall, I feel I'm not alone,
I know I 'm not alone,
I'm with people I know, just lounging about,
wasting days with drawn out sighs and hysterical laughter.
-25 That's when someone next to me plays a tune,
Just sings it out without a care,
It's hypnotic, being sung out loud, everyone else not caring.
but it's sending its voice out to me with its lyrics.
-29 The melody rings in my ear,
as the whispers following are his -warm, welcoming-
Arms wrapping around me as my body hums to the tune,
Swaying with the melody's lure.
-33 But it just stops, everything,
So fast, so sudden, like a snap,
The arms just simply disapear, the music cuts off,
And the warm hums turn to cold goosebumps.
-37 The once friendly faces now turn harsh,
The light flicker off and on, like a strobe,
The faces start to evaporate, one by one,
and his voice fades out to a hushed breeze.
-41 That's when the shadow creeps over,
Just a dark faded fog, inching closer,
The bumps grow more, welcoming him over,
Though I pray they don't.
-45 The dark curls of shadow creep up,
and almost as if planned, my bumps are ridden,
in seconds, the skin is like porcelain,
smooth, delicate, and cold.
-49 ANd its shadows curled around the porcelain,
caressing, smoothly, in the embrace it prays to take,
As the porcelain warms at its touch,
loosening its shallow cold, only to lose again.
-53 As the shadow consumes the fragile skin,
I hear the tune once again, its warmth muffled by the fade,
So all I hear is a beat, almost technologic,
A bass, a beat, and notes.
-57 It somehow reminds me that I still have that choice,
I can escape this monster and return to that warmth,
The music, the hums of color, the life,
Or I can fade into the shadows once again.
-61 Once before, darkness crept inside me,
Once before, I was blinded, burned by the light,
Now I choose the curling shadows at my side,
or may the melody be sung? -64 -NN

The Glass is Empty(it's not full yet)

-1 I hear grey, just grey,
consuming, devouring, defeated,
the wind whipping my hair, howling at my ears;
-4 I miss the gentle lullabies whispered in my mind,
the warmth of arms around me,
the color, the light, the life...
-7 now I have cold grey, harsh winds, and no light...
where is my light?
Where is my voice? Echo?
-10 This world is muted,
full of fake smiles and silent laughs,
making me want to cry out,
-13 but no voice is heard among the din of whispered winds,
the cold grey, consuming still,
as my heart weakens and my patience runs thin...
-16 I am alone in my world,
with only the wind to keep me going,
and still I hear the whispered name,
-19 as the currents of the water, being dark,
pull me in to the depths of the puddle;
The shore line is fading, the sun is setting,
-22 the wind is dying, and I hear it still;
almost as if it has a breath, a smell, warm arms...
Where is the love? The warmth? Where is the sun? -24 –NN

Forgive Fear (May She Love Again)

-1 To stay or to go,
to live or to die,
the fool's Heart or the Wise Man's eye?
-4 To live is to love,
which is, as we all know, to cherish,
but in the end, do we not cherish life but perish?
-7 So, that's when we go, we leave,
we exit the back door,
But is that what we end up living for?
-10 Do we waste in the sand,
throw the hourglass on the floor,
or are our lives meant for something more?
-13 Maybe we have a purpose,
a reason for us being,
for feeling, for thinking, for hearing and seeing.
-16 And what if there is a calling,
will we hear it in time?
Or is the purpose not worth knowing, grand, or sublime?
-19 Like the summer, life is carefree,
it's the leaving that can harm,
so forgiving the Wise Man is life's true charm.
-22 So, dare me, I swear to thee
you won't regret the choice,
to listen to the fool's heart, and hear his voice. -24 -NN

To Love You, Still

-1 I don't know where to start,
It's like a dream, you know?
It comes and, oh, so amazing,
and then, so suddenly dies, like lightning.
-5 It was winter, WINTER!
Things are supposed to fucking die,
life needed to be dormant,
not start up, thrive, flourish.
-9 And how could it flourish?
It was cold, barren, demeaning,
and yet, life found heat, from some furnace,
and made it on to spring.
-13 Now, it's summer.
So, what, did it wilt?
Since heat can be found anywhere,
did it just simply shut down?
-17 No, no, that couldn't be it,
Maybe it just died.
I really hope not,
That would have happened in the winter.
-21 Thinking back on winter,
I remember, up in a purple-pink dream,
bolts of lightning flickering in the corner,
being both warm and cool.
-25 And I remember the amber from the window,
shining reality down from the streetlight,
now, thinking back on then,
the light was also warm and cool.
-29 The color, bringing comfort,
warming up the soul,
the lighting, outside, florescent, unwelcome,
yet, drunk in by sheer willingness.
-33 The furnace kicking, vertically above me,
cling, clang, against my beating heart,
beating against it, beating against him,
as he fills my heart with warmth.
-37 In more ways than one,
it was my all,
to feel, to see, to think, to hear,
It even smelled perfect.
-41 to be Then, at that moment, at that time,
when it all made sense,
everything from warm dreams to cool reality,
a perfect mixture of emotions.
-45 Now, it being summer,
warm air pressing me on, cool winds to blow pedals off the trees,
gracefully brushing against my skin,
as they float on in the world;
-49 I think back on that winter night,
that winter being the most alive,
and I realized that it wasn't the furnace that I loved,
but the heat it provided.
-53 The Blue aura in the Purple-Pink setting,
known only as DREAM,
the yellow, amber light from the cool reality,
waking me from this dream.
-57 I jolt in my bed, the AC now kicking,
Cling, Clang, against the clock's Tick Tock,
I look at the sun in the window,
which, in amber, rises from the Summer's Field Dew.
-61 a single tear lays on my cheek,
wet on my face, though my eyes are dry,
realization that all dreams must come to an end,
even when it shine down on me. -64 NN

Under Construction

(This is not a poem. I repeat, NOT A POEM)

I'm sorry. But, this is mandatory. I am sending in some of thses poems, and Until I do, I'm taking a few poems off. That way, I'm safe from Poetry Stealers (like the bad side of EAP)... not EPA, Ele.

Anyway, Yeah, so, please stand by as I Send in some of my poems to Editors. (eek! I'm excited! ... yeah, I just eeked. I'd rather "eep" but, that seems kinda wierd... eep! editors! ... lol!)

Thank you for your patience.

Free Me Willy

Dedicated: To my Dear, my Wind, my forever Yellow
To you, YellowCoat. -NN
-1 Towers, do they melt the heart,
or do they turn it to stone?
I believe they're beautiful,
even though I'm trapped behind them.
-5 I feel safe, though, confident,
I wished never to give thse up,
to lose their comfort, their protection,
the safety they place inside me.
-9 My rock, my asylum,
My my sanctuary, my peace,
my creme', my yan,
the cheese in my cake... wait, what?
-13 well, however you put it,
I find them beautiful,
strong, but peaceful,
safe but gently.
-17 I remember them beng warm, comforting,
as I slipped inside,
to forever lose sight of what was outside,
to be locked inside of close encounters.
-21 When the guards outside shut the door,
I found my last image of the world beautiful,
Swirling shades of blue and yellow,
in a tango of nature.
-25 after that, it was dark,
so heavily dark,
I couldn't make out anything farther than an outstretched hand,
so close, so far.
-29 and It felt amazing,
the dark was so thick,
it wrapped around me,
so heavy, it even tasted sweet, like chocolate.
-33 I could swear it wrapped around me,
as if in a hug, maybe an embrace,
for darkness is so very lonely,
so often forgetten, left out.
-37 I mean, It's there when we sleep,
but we're sleeping, we're unconcious,
we don't care if darkness wants to chat, say hi,
even when it begs us to listen.
-41 That night, as I walked up to my room,

And I wrapped up in a blanket to sleep in,

I listened to the dark,

And what it had to say.

-45 So many tales, so many stories,

Triumphs, failures, victories, miseries,

I trailed off into my dreams as it continued on,

And I would have stayed asleep.

-49 I had remembered, though,

The guards had told me there’d be no blankets for bed.

I jolted forward,

Waking from my slumber.

-53 There was a thin blanket around me,

It was quite clear,

But, what was it?

Had the guards lied?

-57 Sure enough, when I tried to feel it,

It evaporated into the thin air,

And, somehow, I stayed warm,

And, again, I felt dark’s embrace.

-61 Am… am I mad?

Have I gone insane?

I feel darkness wrap around me,

As I lay in a bed,

-65 Locked away behind the walls of a tower,

towering over me, all around me.

Maybe it was the look,

The darkness’, of course.

-69 I mean, he had eyes,

Yes, darkness is a he,

Um, I call him Willy,

Because I can’t will him to be here, he just is.

-73 I remember… Blue, yes,

They were blue eyes,

Swirling amazing, yes,

They were amazing.

-77 Whenever I went to bed,

Willy was there,

With a story, with comfort,

Even a blanket of warmth.

-81 I would always drift off to sleep then,

As he told these tales of his,

From his youth,

From his childhood.

-85 In the towers, there was a breeze,

A faint one, but there no doubt,

And sometimes, when darkness was dormant,

I would listen to its voice.

-89 The wind’s voice is so much sweeter than dark’s,

Like rose sugar or wine,

While the dark was more like chocolate,

Heavy, but still tasty.

-93 It weaved through the towers,

Slinking through every knick and knack,

Every corner, every crack,

Luring me to follow.

-97 Sometimes, I did, just for the fun.

I’m so sorry willy,

I let my curiosity come over me,

Take me, consume me, like you’d once done.

-101 I followed the Wind’s pull,

As it luired me to the walls,

Where the cold stones brushed up against my skin,

Alien, unwanted, harsh.

-105 It was weird, but, light, it was coming back,

Sight…? I could see!

It was so dork, I was only moving with the floor,

Mapping my surroundings.

-109 But, now I could see,

It was strange, but wind lured me to light,

Heavenly, pure, loving light,

Forgiving, innocent, caring light!

-113 Light? Yes, it was there,

The darkness was fading away.

Willy was fading,

My mind, right then, started to blur.

-117 His once blue eyes now turned to paleness,

Misty and dead.

His warmth, soothing and eerie,

Was now burning and unforgiving.

-121 My head felt heavier now,

Pressing down on my neck,

The hot biting at me now,

Nibbling bits out of me.

-125 I had held in this gasp for a long time,

But I let it out then,

And I guess Wind had heard me,

For he blew out Willy’s invisible candle.

-129 I was burning no more,

His eyes had blinked its last,

His hot breath no longer on my neck,

I head, no longer, his voice.

-133 I saw the window out ahead,

Where Wind had lured me,

Had I seen it sooner,

I would’ve come home.

-137 But, nonetheless, here I was,

At a window, far away from the dark,

Light, filling me up,

Helping me out of a hole of no escape.

-141 So, I asked wind, “How do I jump?

How do I jump out of a hole in which you can’t escape?”

He answered with a whisper,

“Don’t jump in.”

-145 He faded, lingering by my side,

Winding between my fingers,

And, as I had felt dark’s embrace,

I felt his, wind’s, light’s.

-149 So, here I am,

Sitting right beside you,

The doctor said I could go home tomorrow,

And I’ll be all better.

-153 I guess I saw the window all along,

I just never cared to go.

Until the day I did,

I’d blocked it out with Willy.

-157 I guess you can say I’m over him,

I believe it’s true.

I mean, it’ll still hurt for a while,

But, lesson learned, I feel nothing for him.

-161 Now, I cherish something else,

Life before the towers,

Swirling shades of Blue,

Eyes that have been there all along.

-165 Yellow, beautiful yellow,

Such a strong color, for happiness,

And as long as he’s here with me,

Yellow will suit me just fine. -168